That Which Is First
by T. Fowler
Summary: There is always a first victim.  This is Blue's.  Warning: rape, incest


Once upon a time, there is a girl named Baby Sis.

She thinks once she had another name. She doesn't know anymore.

Blue visits her at night. He waits until lights out, then comes into her room. Her private room, because she's special. He takes care of her, good care. Makes sure she has the best. Nothing is too good for his Baby Sis, and he makes sure she is safe.

Once upon a time, there is a girl called Baby Sis. She has a life. She is special. When she sings, time stops. Angels listen. When she sings, she is the center of the world.

He comes for her in the night. Whispers in her ear and gives her treats. Plays with her hair, caresses her back. Tells her he will always take care of his Baby Sis.

Sometimes, she can remember the whispers. _So young_ they said. _So beautiful_. _Such a waste._

She is a such a waste.

She can't sing anymore. Can't move. Sometimes, she can make a noise that almost sounds like a word. Sometimes, she can lift her arm or move her leg. Mostly, she sits. Sometimes, when Blue comes, she's dirty or wet because no one has cleaned her. He yells at her then. _Don't you love me anymore? Why don't you keep yourself nice? Why don't you smile? Why, why, why?_

Everyone knows her name. She is a world-wide sensation. Child with an angel voice. Everyone wants to hear her. Everyone wants to see her perform. She lives her life onstage. She grows from child to adolescence. She grows. Changes.

Blue isn't happy.

Now he doesn't wait for night. Sometimes, he comes for her during the day. _I run the place_ he says proudly. _I can go where I want, when I want. I'm the king, and you're my queen_.

But there are other queens. She sees Blue's hands on them. Sees what he's done. Remembers.

She grows. Every day she looks more like a woman. Fuller breasts. Curvy hips. She learns to flirt. To smile at the boys who gather around, begging for autographs.

Blue disapproves.

Once, in the beginning, she tries to talk. Dr. Gorski plays her music, tells Baby Sis she's safe. Ask her to say what happened.

Baby Sis tries. The next day, she's so sleepy. Can hardly open her eyes. Blue tells her it's for the best.

There is one boy. He sings with her. Their voices blend and soar and dance together on stage. Backstage, they hold hands and blush at each other.

Blue seethes.

Sometimes, she fights. Scratches his neck. Bites. He laughs at first, but she doesn't stop. Even Dr. Gorski notices how violent she's gotten, the marks on Blue's skin from handling her. The sleepiness increases. Her body is so heavy.

She has a chair. She has a window. Outside the window is a fence. Outside of that is freedom.

She's not sure what freedom is.

Blue comes for her in the night. He closes the door behind him, looking dark and unfamiliar in the moonlight.

_What are you doing here?_ she asks. It's late, and she's tired after the show.

_You can't be with him, _he says. _You're mine. _

_I don't know what you mean_.

He comes to her. Takes the collar of her nightgown. Pulls. Tears_._

The drugs aren't enough. She's not behaving. Blue gets angry. _Why won't you be a good girl? Don't you love me?_

His mouth his hot and biting. His hands bruise. When he enters her, it's hard and tearing. He swallows her screams.

_Don't I take good care of you, Baby Sis? Haven't I always been good to you? Didn't I find you a good place? Didn't I make sure we were together?_

On good days, Baby Sis sits in the theater. Watches the others, their eyes dark and haunted. Her expression reflected on their faces.

It's on the news before it can be hushed up. Scandal. Baby Sis did wrong. The family retreats to the country in shame. The baby makes her stomach swell.

Blue is afraid she'll love it more than he.

One day, Blue takes her to a room. They tie her to a chair. On the tray next to it is a thick, sharp needle.

_I gotta do this._ _Gorski's catching on._

Blue comes to her in the night. Takes her to the bathroom. On the edge of the tub is a thick, sharp needle.

_Hey, Baby Sis. I gotta job here. This way, we can be together. I can take care of you._

They run electric current through her. She can't move.

She fights. He holds her under the bathwater until she blacks out. When she wakes up, she's bathing in her blood.

The other girls don't last. They are found dead in the bathroom. In the Closet. They fade away to nothing. But always another girl to replace her.

A man comes into the room. Picks up the needle and a hammer.

Blue pretends to find her. Runs for their parents. _Come quick! She's killed the baby! Ma! Pop!_

The first night, he tears the rough fabric of the institution's nightgown from her. _It'll be like it was before, Baby Sis. Before the mess. Just you and me_./i

The ice pick is over her eye.

_Must have missed. Sometimes this happens. Partially paralyzed. Can't talk._

_Horrible. Just horrible, this procedure. I am so sorry, little one. But your parents insisted._

_Why don't you talk no more, Baby Sis? Don't you love me?_

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved to sing. When she sang, angels listened.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved his sister. He would do anything to keep her with him. To keep her safe.

_You and me forever, Baby Sis. Forever._


End file.
